“Today is mine now
I still visit yesterday
Tomorrow awaits”
Premise:
I’ve been hearing a lot lately about quantum physics, parallel universes, energy fields, and manifestations. I’ve believed for some time now that time itself is an illusion, a construct by which our human mind attempts to sort reality into bite size pieces are tiny stomachs can digest. I’ve been many things in my life. I’ve been a Christian, a poet, an agnostic, an existentialist, a humanist, a musician, a Frenchman, a husband, a friend, a son, a brother, a barista, a student, an American, a boy, a man, a therapist, a life coach, and a mystic, amongst countless other roles. It is interesting to look back at all these past and present versions of myself as this naturally leads my mind to wonder of what ‘new’ versions of myself have yet to manifest. Which one is me, or the ‘most’ me?
Indeed, is there in fact a ‘higher’ self? I’d like to think so, but who knows? Am I really any of these things? Am I all of these things and more? One of the things I appreciate about the illusion of time is that it does offer me clean space to ponder on these signals coming in and out of my brain. Another I appreciate about it is the fact that in it I can find within myself an ability to entertain possibilities without clinging to them or dismissing them.
It just so happened that yesterday I was on my balcony, a safe space for me, and I distinctly found myself kneeling down to a ghost, a mental projection of a previous version of me from a couple of months ago that was looking at his reflection in the glass window at the edge of the balcony. Except, it was not himself he was looking at, it was a ‘future’ version of him telling him that he has already moved past the obstacle in front of him and that he was Self-Actualizing. That man he saw in his reflection was me, the me that was kneeling down right now to congratulate him on sticking with his growth and manifesting me, though he could barely see me through the reflection in the glass.
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